So, I'm sitting in my bed eating a salad.
What?? You don't eat in your bed?
hmmm... Yeah. You're probably right. Eating in bed is not the best idea. For starters, there is a strong possibility that there is a 32inch flat screen in front of your face. Next thing you know it, you are watching reruns of Greys Anatomy, and you have a bedside fridge (filled with junk)on your nightstand. A few salads, cheetohs, a box of ho-hos and two months you've gained 50 lbs. I can see how this does not bode well. Maybe I'll rethink the food in bed thing.
But for now, let's just go with it shall we? Nobody's perfect. I check the fridge for snacks, scraps, food, anything really. The state of the lettuce was what grabbed my attention. I saw that it had a sad little droop going on. It still looked ever so edible, but I knew that it's time was near. I snagged it from the container. Of course the tomatoes looked deliciously plump and vibrant. I could feel my mouth watering. I perused the selection of dressings on the shelf. Of course I could have chosen a healthier option, like vinaigrette something or other. Tcchsss. Um. No. This momma reached for the Hidden Valley Ranch. Indeed I did. I also dug around and found a chunk of feta cheese. For one, that stinky cheese absolutely rocks a salad let me tell you. And two, if you've been around these parts (meaning my blog) then you know that I was unable to procure a block, much less a few crumbles of feta cheese in Santiago. It just couldn't be done.
So I tossed up this salad concoction and headed off. Because I felt I could eat in privacy? No, no no. Silly woman, there is no such thing when you have little children following you around like puppies. At first I was ok. Really, I was safe. You see, they were engaged, enthralled with "The Gummy Bear" song on youtube. My mother was playing it for them. I watched a little. But we had headed to the room and said our goodnights. Well, it wasn't my bedtime, but the kids' bedtime. So they were going to sleep. And then Miss Alexa peeks into the bowl, and smiles. "Mmmmm, i wahn summ mommy, gimmmee summ." I looked first to her, then to my son. I thought for approximately 2.2 seconds. If I gave her a bite, then she would know how incredibly yummy it was and she would want another bite. What's worse is that thing #2 would think he was missing out and would only want some because she was having some, and then he too would realize it was the bomb salad and after 3 or 4 bites it would all be gone. And I would be left with nothing. hmpf. I said no. Get in bed. Mommy loves you. Mwah!
Evil laughter........... bwah ha ha ha ha, bwah ha ha ha! The salad is mine, mine all mine!!!!
Ok. I feel bad. Sort of. Kind of? A little bit? No. Not really. At all. It was MYYY salad. Can't I ever have anything that's just mine? Ever again? Geesh. Am I supposed to share everything? It's not like they haven't been fed. Or didn't get their appropriate snacks for the day. And they had just drank their night time cup of milk. And the girl wants to eat my salad? Look, mommy has to draw the line somewhere. Tonight, it was my salad.
For the record, I have and do share with my kiddos. (on most days)